What sayeth the Lord – Spending time together in marriage

By Reverend T.L. Mashiloane

Scripture: Ecclesiastes 9:9

Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun—all your meaningless days. For this is your lot in life and in your toilsome labor under the sun.

One of the unhealthiest things to do in marriage is not spending time together. It is so sad that many married couples put a distance between themselves through busyness at work, being over-extended with children, doing household chores, watching too much television and spending too much time on social media. When couples comes to ask for counselling, not spending time tougher is often cited as one of the challenges which causes problems in their marriage.

When couples don’t spend time together, they will certainly drift apart and the enemy will definitely take advantage of this- if you know what I mean. Couples need to make it a mission to spend time together, in order to strengthen their marriages.

Any marriage will thrive when partners make the effort to plan and prioritize time spent together. Spending time together with my wife is one of the contributing factors to the health and success of our marriage. Another important part of spending time together, we do without fail is praying together on a daily basis.

Spending time together does not have to be complicated. It can be anything like sitting in your lounge and watching a movie together, going out on a date night or even going out for a walk and exercising together.

You don’t have to wait for a vacation to spend time with each other. A week or two at the end of the year can never be enough. Couples have to make the most of little opportunities that prevent themselves daily.

It is important to remember that our desire and our need as couples is to be emotionally intimate with each other. We must not make the mistake of living as though we are just “house mates”. We must be intentional about building a stronger bond, rather simply letting time pass by, while we are together.

In Genesis 2:24, the Bible says “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh”. It does not make sense that we can be one flesh, if we do not spend time together. If we don’t spend time together, it might even be difficult to make decisions together, which is very important for the health and success of all marriages.

Lastly, as much as spending time with our children is important it does not count as spending time together.


Heavenly Father, I pray that you help us to take time to enjoy life together as married couples. I pray that there be fun and laughter in our marriages. May you give us wisdom to keep the fire of our love burning. Help us to always be aware of the little foxes that may cause us to be apart as married couples. This I pray in the wonderful and mighty name of our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ of Nazareth. Amen.

Rev T.L. Mashiloane has been married for 22 years. He is an Ordained Minister in the Full Gospel Church of God in SA; and is the Presiding Pastor of City of Love & Restoration in Sasolburg. He is also the CEO of HospiVision (NPC). (www.hospivision.org.za).

For further advise and counselling, please contact Rev Mashiloane on 061 446 7294 / revmashiloane@gmail.com